After spending exactly two years in Canada and currently preparing for my third winter in Saskatoon, I find myself reflecting on how things have truly unfolded for me.
When I first came to Canada, I was full of energy, naive expectations and unrealistic optimism. This was all the result of my prior experiences in Bangladesh where I didn’t have to “suffer” the repercussions of making a decision. Important decisions in my life were directly or indirectly made by my parents and I always had someone else to blame if things didn’t go exactly as I planned. That’s why my brain was trained on delegating any kind of responsibilities and the resulting consequences of executing any decisions.
“Oh, this thing failed? I guess if I had this thing and that person help and those systems in place, I would have been successful. Aargh! Well next time…” In summary, the statement above captures my thought processes while I was still in my home country.
But soon after spending one year in Canada and going through a massive reality check that I understood that I have entered the “Hard” mode in the game called life and there were no checkpoints to replay or rewind the game to.
After one year of studying in the University of Saskatchewan, I found out that I was not getting the expected amount of transfer credits from my university back home, Shahjalal University of Science and Technology. This upended all my plans of finishing my undergraduate degree in time and I realized that I came with no plan B or C. Imagine being in my shoes at that time. I kept looking for someone to blame for getting me in this kind of situation.
I tried blaming the people who encouraged me to grab the flight to Canada once I get the “once-in-a-lifetime” Canadian visa. I tried blaming my parents for not formulating a plan B for me as they had done in countless other occasions in my life. I even tried blaming my luck for ending up in a situation where I was feeling the pressure of going back to Bangladesh with empty hands and facing the societal pressure that would have inevitably mounted as time went on.
It was a phase—a two-month period where I worried about my plan B. This experience, along with the following months, taught me valuable lessons, including the importance of cultivating resilience in any situation. After weeks of anxiety and overthinking, I found a temporary solution. I enrolled in a one-year advanced certification program, which allowed me to apply for a valid work permit in Canada. With some brainstorming and persuasion of the immigration ministry, I surprisingly received a three-year post-graduate work permit, despite the strict regulations and bureaucracy of Canadian immigration.
I took notes…
“Another lesson learned: Don’t give up on trying things out even though the success rate might be very small.”
When people are desperate, they can do things that they never thought possible. The ones who think the mountain is too high to climb even though they have never even tried to trek a few meters on the mountain, will never know whether they could’ve succeeded or not. However, the problem is not the fact they didn’t try to climb the mountain and left the opportunity. I believe that the main danger lies in the fact that they are training their brain to subtly divert themselves from taking on challenges which are painful. Training the brain to pursue endeavors which deliver instant gratification or easy pleasure can be and will be a huge block in the future that will trickle down to other actions or decisions in their life.
I’ve read about it, watched endless motivational videos, and heard people discuss its significance many times over the years. Yet, the moment I truly grasped it was when I experienced it directly. I still struggle to embrace difficult decisions and I know it won’t go away easily. Trying to correct a bad habit takes perseverance and deliberate effort even though it is hard. No matter how many times I learn about it, if I don’t take the necessary action, nothing will change. It will simply become another “What-if” in the long list of things I imagined I could have achieved.
Cultivating a growth mindset is a crucial path and it is one long journey I’m willing to take.
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